It isn't always easy for partners to see abuse coming. Yet, there are often behaviors and attitudes that can make potential violence easier to spot.
Does your partner insist you're the only one who understands him/her, act
as if his/her whole world depends on your love; show excessive jealousy, discourage you from seeing family and friends or put you down in public?
Do you feel like you can't do anything right, no matter how hard you try?
Do you ever feel afraid for yourself or your children?
Do you feel your thoughts, opinions and feelings don't matter in your own home?
Does your partner brag about using violence to settle conflicts and/or have a history of using violence?
Does your partner check up on you, need to know where you are all the time, make all the decisions and/or makes fun of your opinion and thoughts?
Do you worry a lot about how your partner will react to things you say or do?
Has your partner hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked or physically intimidated you?
If you are an immigrant, has your partner threatened or tried to turn you in to authorities and get you deported?
Does your partner use drugs or alcohol and/or pressures you to take them?
If the answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you may want to share this with family and friends who you feel will understand and support you. You may also want to call a domestic violence hotline or seek supportive counseling to get more information and support while you think through what is happening in your relationship.
Just remember you do not deserve to be hurt in your relationship.
There are others who might be helpful to you. Think about whom you feel safe talking with about what you are experiencing:
family members or close friends
teacher or school counselor
neighbors or others in your community
priest, minister, rabbi or spiritual leader
doctor or nurse
Victim Witness Advocates
Local services may provide: a supportive staff help with planning for your safety, support groups, individual support, children programs, community education, and individual counseling assistance services for you and your children.
The Wholeness Center
P.O Box 148
Flandreau, SD 57028
Business Line: (605) 997-3535
Crisis Line: (605) 997-5594
The police can assist you if your partner has abused you. Not everyone who has been abused calls the police, but it is important for you to know you can call 911 if you feel you need their protection, especially in emergencies.
If you have been abused by your partner, you can apply for a protection order with the Moody County Clerk of Courts. A protection order can direct an abuser to:
1. Stop violent, abusive and threatening behavior
2. Leave and stay away from your home and your workplace
3. It can also give victims of violence temporary custody of their children.
Obtaining a protection order does not mean the batterer will be automatically arrested unless the stated conditions have been violated.
If you are in an abusive relationship, there are some additional ways you can help protect yourself and your children.
Keep important phone numbers handy and teach children when and how to use them.
If it is safe, tell neighbors, family members, and/or friends about any violence and instruct them to call 911 if they see or hear anything suspicious.
Make a list of safe places to go in an emergency such as family, a shelter, police, and friends.
Try to put money aside in a separate savings account in a different bank.
Keep copies of important documents or keys in a safe place outside your home, for example birth certificates, passports, social security card, and green cards.
Compile a list of important things to take when leaving the house.